zastita

Zasto zagorci ne mogu dobiti sidu (aids, hiv bolest)?
Zato sto im je ona stvar manja od virusa!

WIRELESS NATION

After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Azeri scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, Georgian scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the Tiblisi newspapers read: "Georgian scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Azeri's.

One week later, the Armen press reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500m, Armenian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones."

Nedovršena Simfonija

Predsjednik Uprave dobio je na poklon karte za koncert za izvedbu Schubert-ove "Nedovršene simfonije". Pošto nije mogao ići, karte je dao manageru i rekao mu da on ode umjesto njega. Kada ga je sutradan ujutro upitao da li je uživao u koncertu, manager mu je uručio slijedeći izvještaj:
1. U promatranom razdoblju četiri svirača oboe nisu imala što raditi.
Njihov broj treba reducirati, a njihove poslove raspodjeliti ostalima u orkestru što će ukloniti varijacije u aktivnostima.
2. Svih 12 violina su svirale identične note. To je potpuno nepotrebno dupliciranje i osoblje te sekcije treba drastično smanjiti.
3. Nema svrhe da duhači ponavljaju iste dionice koje su već odsvirali gudači. Kada bi se uklonile sve dionice koje se ponavljaju, koncert bi se mogao skratiti s dva sata na samo dvadeset minuta.
4. Da je Schubert vodio brigu o tim stvarima vjerovatno bi i dovršio
simfoniju.

Recept za nedjeljni rucak...

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Dobar tek!!!

Impossible Words To Say When You Are Drunk

Difficult Words to Say When You Are Drunk:

Specificity
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon
British Constitution

Impossible Words To Say When You Are Drunk:

Thanks, but I don't want sex.
No, I don't want another drink.
No kebab for me thank you.
Sorry, but you're not good looking enough for me.
Good evening officer
I'm not interested in fighting you.
No one wants to hear me sing.